| The End. |
[Feb. 26th, 2007|04:55 am] |
| [ | download this, bitches |
| | Polaris - She Is Staggering | ] |
And, finally, here. After all of this. Five years and fifty thousand words, every one as intrinsically linked to a place and time as any first grade drawing or Picture Day snapshot. One thousand one hundred and sixty one comments, almost all reminders of people and times that have long since disappeared from my daily reference frame. Here, eternally seared onto a segment of the digital landscape, are all the fights and furies that one adolescent can manage; a million arguments and a thousand memories and five times of saying, "You know, I think this'll be the time Talia and I finally work out."
And that's as far as I got, if you really must know. I'd be lying if I said I didn't try to punch out another one of those grand Livejournal extravaganzas I used to love so much, but there's really not all that much left to say. If you can read this, or you are reading this, then your life has undoubtedly been shaped by this damn thing in ways you're loathe to admit and even less prepared to recognize. And if you don't think the mixing of public vulnerability and a delete function during your formative years is going to fuck you up, then our generation's long, unfeeling march to a ninety percent divorce rate is, for you, only going to seem even longer.
What I'm trying to say, then, I think, is that more than anyone, I love Livejournal. Honest injun. My entire conscious life, I have dealt with a crippling fear of the inability to hold onto my past, and, yet, here it is, splayed out across the years in sectioned splashes of white and navy blue. At any instant, I can access the semi-private thoughts of the man I once was and have since ceased to be. Those of others, too, though I'm not sure championing the post facto reading of someone else's life is the most popular line to walk these days (I mean, have you guys heard about this blogging thing? I hear it's going to be huge).
What's more, there's no bullshitting one of these things. The single smartest thing I've learned in the past twenty years of my life has been through knowledge gleaned from reading old entries: mainly, that it's pointless to dwell on how unhappy you are, because chances are you were never any happier to begin with. Livejournal doesn't give you a way around the facts. If the generation above us saw the death(and subsequent mass-marketing) of irony, then I don't think it's all that out there to say that our generation might bring about the death of nostalgia. After all, what room does our world have for rose-colored glasses when there are right now ten posts out there detailing just how much we used to hate high school and love The Hives? None. Absolutely none.
That's why I think I'm ending this thing here, at a point when betting odds put me on the cusp of some sort of radical change. I am eternally grateful for the ability to access my thoughts, and I'm glad that I can be reminded of the way my life used to be. I love seeing how stupid you and me and everyone around us was, and the many ways in which infatuation reared its ugly little brunette head. But I don't think I'm ready to commit full-bore to a world without restructured reminiscence. In fact, I think I want to be deceived. I did want to remember how miserable I actually was in high school, but I'm not so sure I want to remember how miserable I am at any point after. I've just got too many other things to worry about. And to enjoy. And so, I imagine, do you.
And it's really silly that there's a part of me feeling a little flutter right now. I am saddened by the severing of ties with a website. Were I ever to pursue public office, that last sentence would be enough to derail my campaign. But it makes an odd sort of sense. I have spent many a night pouring my heart out in the confines of this space with a scroll bar. Closing chapter metaphors would be uncouth here, but you get what I'm going for. Growing up. Change. Et cetera. The stuff of Byron and Braff. So let's end with a flourish and walk tall like men and admit that, no matter how silly or unbearable it sounds, the following is true:
One day, when I am frail and lacking vigor, I will look back on my salad days, and I will think of you, Livejournal; every angry missive or stupid joke, I will think of you, Livejournal; when illness strikes and all my mind is made to mush, when comment fights and icon posts are lost to the great and irascible flowing of time, I will think of you, Livejournal.
And it will never cease to make me happy. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 16th, 2007|02:08 am] |
"Lead singer and guitarist for the smash group Nirvana, Kurt Cobain clearly didn't find nirvana when he shot himself April 5, 1994. Cobain struggled with drug abuse. He was 27 at the time of his death. (AP)"
What the fuck has happened to all of us?
Though to be fair, I found this on a website called Stars Killed By Gunfire. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 10th, 2007|11:09 pm] |
I have spent fifteen minutes trying to think of the best way to say this, and this is the only thing I came up with:
"Jennifer Hudson...goddamn." |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 15th, 2006|04:16 am] |
I don't even know who to root for anymore.
Anyone not watching The Office on a regular basis needs to get the fuck out of life. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 14th, 2006|05:20 am] |
Tonight, on a whim, my suite combined with another on our floor to make egg nog, egg nog pancakes, and egg nog scrambled eggs.
College makes a lot of sense some times. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 24th, 2006|02:56 am] |
"This isn't a tragedy. I'm still a Flyer. I'll die a Flyer. Until then, I'll still be a fan. I'll be around."
- Bob Clarke
Amen. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 29th, 2006|03:13 am] |
Tonight, I was literally right next to Q-Tip, rapping along with him to the first verse of Award Tour.
I would be lying if I said that wasn't the most absurd dream I've ever had come true. |
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| Excerpt from a Whaler writing session. |
[Sep. 18th, 2006|11:01 pm] |
JUSTIN: Okay, what's something that a girl could do to just completely impress you on a first date?
MIKE: Open a beer bottle with her tits...or her vagina...Don't repeat that to anyone.
Clearly, we're working our minds to the bone. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 14th, 2006|02:52 pm] |
I love Audrey Hepburn. I love AC/DC.
But the new Gap commercial might just be the single worst thing our country has ever produced. I feel like I spent a year and a half working for the Boys in Brazil. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 8th, 2006|03:53 am] |
It's 4 AM.
A lot of great things have happened in my life at 4 AM. I am talking here of unexpected kisses and long, silent drives and sobering epiphanies about life. Also, once, there was an infomercial on TV about the G-spot.
This is a very impressive list. It would take something supremely exceptional to top it. But I just finished writing a play on the subway, and I don't think there is anything short of a Newberry Medal that will ever make me feel like more of a writer.
EDIT:
Ten hours later, and I've already got confirmation that it's going to be put up at the UCB in October.
So maybe there's one thing makes me feel like more of a writer. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 28th, 2006|03:09 pm] |
Blah blah blah Snakes On A Plane blah blah...
Say what you will, but I just saw it at a 12:30 matinee, and there was a couple having sex in the back. They weren't even trying to hide it. The dude draped his clothes over the seat in front of him. He's going to get his own library in Man Country someday.
And while my support of political apathy is well-documented, the fact that our generation couldn't even make Snakes On A Plane successful really scares the shit out of me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 26th, 2006|10:42 pm] |
EDIT:
Well played, Pullan. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 14th, 2006|06:37 pm] |
A Tribe Called Quest is coming to Atlantic City in September.
Understand that if you told me to make a list of things I wanted more than anything else in the entire world, that would be right behind "successful career in comedy" and "wings with which to scale the heavens."
Speaking of which, Mike and I are in Dirtiest Sketch again this Saturday at midnight. If you've ever wanted to see Mike completely debase himself in front of a paying audience, now is the time. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 5th, 2006|02:58 am] |
I think the best way to describe how fantastic my night was would be to share this series of time-stamped text messages I sent to Mike:
10:03 PM: Dude, turn on phillies. bases full 2 o in 8.
10:07 PM: Dude, fucking top of ninth phils up 4-3.
10:09 PM: The only excuse for missing it is if youre dogging or watching the phillies so intently you pass out. flash!
10:11 PM: Flash v wagner! oh my god.
10:14 PM: Flash just got an ending inning double play and then fucking spit. you are missing something our children will ask about.
10:16 PM: Dude, chase utley is up and 0-4.
10:19 PM: RYAN HOWARD HOME RUN ON THE 1ST PITCH!
10:22 PM: Dude, i am in a bar full of mets fans openly rooting for the phils. youre missing shit.
10:26 PM: Flash tripped, and ryan still made the play.
10:32 PM: Flash just mowed down lo duca, beltran, and delgado! phils!
10:35 PM: I just fucking walked out a hero.
10:55 PM: Hey, you know what? i will fucking stand and cheer for every chase utley at bat from now on. and ryan howard is money.
I almost got into a fight. It was awesome.
Also, while I'm on a Philly sports high, I have always been a big Michael Handzus guy, but whenever I made the argument that the Blackhawks should be better than they are, Kyle Calder was at the top of my list of reasons why. I say good trade for both teams. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 24th, 2006|12:24 am] |
Today, for no real reason at all, and for the first time in ages, I watched Dirty Work. Then, when finished, I visited a news website and saw that Jack Warden* had died.
This is eerie.
* - Character actor who was in Dirty Work, Problem Child, and a million other films that you thought he was the best thing about. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 17th, 2006|01:52 am] |
At some point during this evening, I was staring up at the stars in an open-air ampitheater and listening to Paul Simon play Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes.
I could say more, but, honestly, I think that says enough. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 11th, 2006|02:31 am] |
I went to see Danny's band(The Glorious Ninth) play a party on a boat this weekend. You need to start listening to them. Understand that I say this not as the best friend of bassist, but instead as someone who likes to rock the fuck out on a rusty boat with three hundred people. I would like this band if I did not know Danny. I would like this band if I hated his guts. If Jason Trager was the lead singer and Terrell Owens was on bass, I would still say, "Man...I hate these guys, but they're awesome."
And they're apparently getting a write-up in Newsweek soon, so you should probably get on the hip train before it leaves the station. Someday you'll be able to tell a girl in a coffee shop that you saw the Glorious Ninth before they got big, and I guarantee it will get you laid. So go to their MySpace and listen, goddamnit. I recommend the song GF'S GFS, which has the end chorus "Talia, can I call you again, I really need to know when, you'll let me sleep with your friends(you'll let me sleep with them)." All hilarious jokes aside, that's one of the best things I've heard in my entire life.
Also:
"Hey, Jerri, you thinking about signing up for the science fair?"
"Nah, I'm thinking about pussy. The science fair's for queers."
In other words, you should probably go see the new Strangers With Candy movie, too. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 5th, 2006|10:00 am] |
Yesterday, I saw Belle and Sebastian with 8,000 people in Battery Park. They encored by having Stevie play the National Anthem like Hendrix. Then, after fireworks, I ate watermelon and watched Independence Day with two people who I love more than almost anyone in the world.
Life gets better, I'm sure, but not often enough to mention. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 4th, 2006|12:41 am] |
Someday, I will be an old man, and I will wonder where my hearing has gone. And I will ask my ears, "Ears, what the hell happened?" And they will reply, "Well, Justin, it was probably that time you were two rows away from the Gin Blossoms and they played Hey Jealousy with an extra sing-a-long verse and chorus." And they will be right.
But fuck them, because it was totally worth it.
I am in Power Pop Heaven. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 3rd, 2006|01:09 am] |
I was on my way to Brigantine today, and traffic was stopped at a railroad crossing so that a train could go by. The guy at the front of the line must have been in a hurry, because he proceeded to give the train the finger until it passed.
Part of me is really going to miss this place. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 29th, 2006|05:03 am] |
Man, remember that period when you were all about updating Livejournal every day? That's like our generation's draft.
Anyway, Katie Martin's dog was licking my hands for a really long time tonight, and it made me have a revolutionary thought that I want to share with the world:
You know how when you're eating a popsicle, you're totally into it and it's delicious? Well, essentially, a dog's entire visual realm is made of popsicles.
I'm a greater philosopher than Sarte.
(Big-ups to Mama Bear) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 27th, 2006|10:43 pm] |
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WupT1Fazlnk
Just in case you thought Mike and I weren't doing anything productive with our lives.
Also, I leave town for reals in six days. If we haven't seen each other yet, it's probably because we haven't been trying hard enough. Let's get on that. Maybe. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 24th, 2006|01:49 am] |
YOUR FIRST YEAR OF COLLEGE...
Where did you live? Carman 1313B.
Who was/were your roommate(s)? Seth Melnick. Drug dealer, ADD case, and, in retrospect, probably the best first year roomate a man could ask for.
Ever get in trouble in the dorms? By the end of the year, everyone on my floor was smoking and drinking in the lounge with a regularity bordering on absurd. So, no.
Something you remember about when you first lived on campus? The first night when the roof doors were open. One of the most striking views I've ever seen in my entire life.
Your campus phone number or other number: Our room phone was at the foot of my bed and covered in wires. I couldn't tell you what the hell the number was, and neither could anyone else.
First party attended? Dance party in my friend Ivan's room, where I met the woman who would come to dominate my first semester.
Favorite Pizza Place? Koronets. It's the only food I've ever had that tastes better sober.
Favorite place to go out to eat? Dinosaur BBQ in Harlem. It just barely beats out Amy Ruth's, which is a soul food restaurant that offers a Kool Aid of the Day on the menu.
Did you go to the library? Frequently, but only to take out plays to read. My workload was so light in the second half of the year that I actually put myself on a play-reading curriculm to occupy my time.
What was your Favorite Floor: Carman 13, of course. If not that, then Sulzberger 3, where all my favorite women dwell.
Club, Athletics, Frat or Sororities, you joined? I joined Chowdah (the sketch comedy group on campus) and LateNite, which was a festival of student-written one act plays that Mike and I wrote a Stevie Wonder piece for.
Where did you buy your books? First semester, Labryinth. Second semester, nowhere. Film classes are delicious bullshit.
Who made the best wings? Far and away, Dinosaur BBQ. They make you feel like you're a Flintstone.
Ever attend a sporting event? I went to two Flyers games and a Devils game. I don't know anyone who follows Columbia sports, and, quite frankly, I don't want to.
Ever attend a concert or comedic performance? Washington Social Club at the Knitting Factory, Ben Folds at an Apple Store, Yo La Tengo on the steps, The Glorious Ninth(Danny's legitimately awesome band) at Pianos and some chick's courtyard. And I was in enough of my own comedic performances that seeing others seemed a little gratuitous.
Have you ever spent the night on campus not in your dorm hall? The night? Hell, I spent an entire month sleeping across the street at Barnard. The late night sign-in guy knows me by name. As a man, there are few better feelings than being instantly recognized at an all-girls school.
Favorite night to go out on, and where did you go? Thursday. The newfound liberation of it only wore off once Tuesday and Wednesday also became viable options.
Where did you get coffee? I don't drink it, though I tried to convince myself that I did the first few weeks.
Go see a play or been in one? Doubt in October with Talia's parents, The Wild Party with the illustrious Karyn Heavenrich, and Stop Kiss with the irascible Gena Miller. Also, Whaler shows.
Did you ever have a job at school? I worked in a church. My job was to sit at a desk, and I performed it so poorly that they almost fired me. Let me repeat that: I almost got fired from a church.
What did you hate about your college? For a long time, it was the deficiency of the artistic community, but then I got involved with things and realized I was just being a bitch. So probably the multitude of people content to stay above 110th Street all year.
What did you love most about it? Everyone's general level of accomplishment, the feeling of looking out on the grass and stone from thirteen stories up, and Danny fucking Kelly.
Ever leave to go on a road trip? A few trips to Jersey to write with Mike/see Devils games/move Danny's shit. And Danny and I drove out to Michigan to visit his then girlfriend over winter break. The soundtrack to our journey was Hole, Boyz II Men, MC Hammer, and the version of Gwar's "Fishfuck" on Short Music For Short People. This is why he is my best friend in the entire world.
Where would you believe is the best location to live in? Eventually, probably East Campus. Huge suites with single rooms, two floors, and living spaces large enough for outlandish parties. But as a first year, I cannot fathom wanting to be anywhere but the top floor of Carman.
Graduated or still attending? Still here, son.
Year of graduation? 2009.
Will you go back? Hell, I'm moving back on July 3rd just so's I can get back quicker. This boy's Jersey days are quickly coming to a close.
How many parking tickets have you gotten there? Look, I love driving. But I very honestly don't see the point of ever owning another vehicle.
Finally, ever gotten arrested? For living with a drug dealer on the most pot-saturated floor in all of the dorms, and for my general disregard for my own safety, the answer is still a very surprising no.
Classes:
Fall: Intro to Film Theory, Literature Humanities, University Writing, Theories of Disobedience(I took it because the professor said we never had to go to class and a cute girl wanted me to), Music Humanities
Spring: American Film History '30-'60, Auteur Study: Alfred Hitchcock, Literature Humanities, Structure and Style I(Early entry into the Writing Program, bitches), Frontiers of Science
I enjoyed studying in: The Carman basement lounge. There was never anyone there past 1 AM, which is exactly when I like to begin my work.
My favorite teacher: Robert O'Meally, my Lit Hum teacher. He's the head of the Jazz Studies department and one of the most renowned jazz authorities in the nation.And once he found out I did comedy, he deferred to me on every discussion of humor, whether I wanted him to or not.
Least: Louisa Ermelino. A creative writing teacher who doesn't know how to read things. How quaint.
I wish... That I had acted more. That I had made better girl-related decisions. That the Whalers had been more prolific. That I hadn't lost contact with important people. That I could change any decisions I made while drunk or stoned that didn't involve eating cheese logs or watching R. Kelly videos. That I could go back to orientation and meet some people who didn't enter my life until far too late in the year. That I hadn't stopped dancing with Leda. That I had gotten an ID sooner. That Reggie Bush hadn't pushed Matt Leinart over the goal line. That it was easier to get a table at Dinosaur on the weekends. That the first year wasn't impossible to get back to as a place in your life.
And because I'm relentlessly different:
Top 5 Moments of the Year
1. The Whaler Show: No explanation necessary.
2. The Great Weekend: In one twenty-four hour period, I went to barbecue downtown with Mike and Danny, saw Sarah Silverman's concert film with those two and my Angels, went to a choral performance by Karyn, saw a great improv show, watched Trapped in the Closet for the first time with a crowd at the UCB, fell asleep next to someone I loved, woke up, ate an order of ribs on the street and then walked to Amy Ruth's for the first time to get another order, climbed a forty foot wall in Morningside Park, and went back to the UCB with Mike and Val. If everyone's weekends were like that, depression would be about as prevalent as polio. Or, as Mike so immortally said, "Dude...we went to sleep in girl's beds, and we woke up, and they're not here."
3. The Drive Out To Michigan: I don't know how it's possible that two people could spend fourteen hours in a car together without a single moment of silence between them, but somehow, Danny and I did it. Along the way, we listened to 8th grade punk rock, consumed a twelve pack of Popeye's biscuits, became the mayors of Clearfield, Pennsylvania, and drove around for an hour trying to find a Pizza Hut so that we could settle a bet over the deliciousness of combining ice cream and breadsticks, only to give up and find one five minutes later. Also, we saw a place in Ohio that had two Boston Markets within 0.3 miles of each other. Truly one of the most bizarre, hilarious, enjoyable experiences of my entire life.
4. The First Chowdah Show: The show was great, we were interviewed for Time magazine, the sketches I had a hand in writing were the best received, and afterward, there was a party filled with the sort of debauchery that probably happens all the time at Real College. But I don't go to Real College, so it was still a novelty. Just a very good night to be alive and into comedy.
5. 4/20: Not so much for the weed, which is by this time as natural and expected as rain, but instead for the overwhelming sense of community. Everyone you knew was doing something for 4/20, and it was always something exciting and worth experiencing. It warmed my heart to see this holiday bring out the best in people. Also, there was another Chowdah show. Who can argue with that? |
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| Second place is really first loser... |
[May. 23rd, 2006|12:24 am] |
This weekend, I stripped naked on a stage with a "Love Angel Music Baby" tattoo drawn on my lower back and proceeded to cover myself in fake poop before drawing a shit-swastika on my chest and shoving a piece of said poop into my butt.
Essentially, this is what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 17th, 2006|12:26 am] |
First order of business:
Mike and I were picked to compete in the (oddly enough) highly prestigious Dirtiest Sketch of New York competition at the UCB this Saturday. Winning sketches of the past have featured a person dancing naked in blackface and a guy fucking a beef-stuffed bear vagina. However, if those sketches were A New Hope, then our sketch is totally fucking Empire. Alternatively, if sketches were Cher numbers, those would be The Shoop Shoop Song while ours would be the If I Could Turn Back Time video where she whips out her ass in front of a bunch of sailors. It's 8 bucks Saturday at midnight. You should totally come.
Secondly:
Does anyone know where we can get a hold of some Viagra? We need insurance that certain bodily functions will be functioning on stage in front of two hundred rowdy people, so drugs specifically designed for that purpose seem to be the way to go. We don't care if it's a free promo sample or if you steal a couple pills from your father's medicine cabinet, we just need two or three ED pills by Friday. Help us, and we'll be forever in your debt. Also, you will have directly contributed to one of our erections. That's an honor on par with war heroism. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 15th, 2006|12:42 am] |
There was this towel that sat in my bathroom all year. A brown one. Nobody in my suite really knew who it belonged to; it just sort of appeared one day, and we accepted its existence. At first, I thought it was my roomate Seth's, and he thought it was my suitemate Alan's, and he thought it was his roomate John's, but we all eventually came to the conclusion that this towel basically appeared out of thin air to occupy the top rack in our bathroom, and this only meant good things. As far as I can tell, it was never washed, but it was always there to wipe up blood, urine, vomit, or any other bodily fluid that might find its way onto the bathroom floor. And when guests used our bathroom, they most certainly mistook it for a hospitably-placed hand towel, which always gave us a criminal sort of satisfaction.
Anyway, I was the last one to move out of my suite, and as I looked around the two empty rooms for a final sense of closure on the year, I saw that towel sitting on the rack. No one had taken it. We had all used it and abused it over the course of nine months, but when it came time to claim ownership of the garment, we all pawned the responsibility off on someone else.
That towel is sitting in a dumpster by now, and that makes me incredibly sad. But if you ask me what I am going to miss about the first year of college, it is most certainly going to be that towel.
And everything it represents.
This weekend, I did shrooms with three of my closest friends, waited nineteen hours in line for the chance to hear Paul Simon play Saturday Night Live, and woke up twice next to a pretty girl in a highrise apartment overlooking the Hudson River. You have until July 3rd to match that, New Jersey. Let's get this summer shit started right. |
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| (The same goes for Radiohead's National Anthem) |
[May. 3rd, 2006|04:18 am] |
| [ | download this, bitches |
| | Smashing Pumpkins - By Starlight | ] |
It is not usually so, and in a world where the Black Album exists, it is even less so, but there are certain times when By Starlight becomes the best fucking song in the entire world. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 22nd, 2006|04:30 am] |
Tonight, there was an important addendum to my last entry.
Earlier this fall, I wrote of a saga involving my friend Nate in which we trekked to seven bars trying to get them to put on the first Flyers game, only to be upended by the sheer manliness of someone in a Joni Pitkanen jersey who came in and told the bartender he wanted two shots every time the Flyers scored.
Well, I was talking to Joanna's boyfriend at Danny's band's show tonight, and I mentioned that story, and...it was him.
I can't even talk about it.
Also, the opening act tonight was a pair of nerdcore rappers named Schaeffer The Darklord and Coolsey. They had a song about going into the future when they have clones and having sex with copies of yourself. Also, part of the chorus to another one was "We're on an award tour, but this isn't THAT song..." Somehow, it represented everything I love about rap.
Which is a lot.
I feel like the main reason I will never have intellectual friends is that, for all my qualifications to the contrary, I will always enjoy movies like New Jack City just a little too much for their comfort.
Either way, tomorrow, there's going to be a free Ghostface Killah concert on the steps. I mean, I will be able to look out my window and think, "Oh, that's just my neighbor...Ghostface Killah."
Life is good. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 20th, 2006|04:48 am] |
Livejournal people:
I have returned from my sabbatical to say a very important thing. My friend Joanna started dating this guy here who is just as into and knowledgeable about the Flyers as I am, and he is the man. And I want their relationship to work out more than I may have any of my own.
I miss Keith Primeau, but I believe in Peter Forsberg. And R.J. Umberger. I had a dream that he'd be this year's Patrick Sharp.
I need a cheesesteak. And playoff tickets.
DUECES FUCKING WILD!
EDIT:
FUCKING GET FLYERERED UP!!!!!!(pullan this means you!!!)!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 1st, 2006|05:11 am] |
The Livejournal thing has escaped me, but this was on the front of the UCB door when I went in for tech rehearsal tonight:
I have never been prouder of anything in my entire life. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 16th, 2005|03:05 pm] |
And with that, the first semester of college ends.
I've slept for three hours in the past two days because I couldn't bring myself to write a ten-page paper about an Iranian documentary*. Being a film major is total bullshit sometimes.
* - Also because my floor banded together to beat Earthworm Jim in the middle of the night. I don't know if you remember this, but video games used to be really fucking hard. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 12th, 2005|02:55 am] |
So the campus sketch group I'm a part of had their show this weekend. It went smashingly. And there was a reporter from Time Magazine in the audience doing a piece on college humor. He apparently said the sketch I cowrote was the best one of the night. And now we're going to get a write-up in Time.
It's interesting how every other aspect of my life can exceed all possible expectations, and yet I can still feel like this. It's good to know that Achilles still has a heel. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 24th, 2005|01:58 pm] |
This just in:
Fresh off of winning the prestigious United States title, Mark Zimmerman is booking a wrestling event at Mainland in February. The main event is going to be him fighting in a cage.
Honestly, anything I have to say on the matter is just going to distract you from how wonderful that is. |
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| "Don't you know that I'll always, I'll always be your slave..." |
[Nov. 19th, 2005|11:23 pm] |
| [ | download this, bitches |
| | Live At The Harlem Square Club | ] |
I have a ten page research paper due in twelve hours, and I have yet to pick a topic. I'm moving out of my childhood home in thirteen days, and I'm not quite sure where I'm going to be staying after that. My romantic life is building to a big Thanksgiving climax that might just bring me to my knees.
In short, my life is unraveling.
But I put on Sam Cooke, and for the moment, there is peace. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 27th, 2005|12:42 am] |
Between the White Sox winning the World Series and the return of Sam Adams Winter Lager, today has been a pretty big day for things beginning with the letter "W".
Also, I dropped a bag with two bottles in it on the sidewalk today, and neither one broke. It was the Winter Lager Day Miracle. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 23rd, 2005|01:55 pm] |
So I've been doing a talk radio show for the past month, and the archive of it finally started working. Go to wbar.org and look for Four Shots on Saturday mornings from 6-8 if you need some of my(and Mike's) sweet sonorous voice to get you through the day. October 22nd is the first good show we've ever done.
Also, three-time Emmy nominee Steve Landesberg is now a huge Whaler fan. And we got offered the chance to put together a show at the UCB. So this has been a pretty big weekend, Whaler-wise.
And I've decided after much deliberation that The Apartment is now my favorite movie. I don't know how it happened, either. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 21st, 2005|03:30 pm] |
Yesterday, I had a picnic with wine, cheese, and bread. Then I went to the opera.
It's official; I'm a douchebag.
In other news, an Emmy-nominated professional comedian is coming to see the Whalers tonight, and I'm nervous as hell.
Also:
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 10th, 2005|06:57 pm] |
It's rainy and cold and miserable here, and there's a lingering malaise in the air that threatens to make everyone put on sweatpants and stay the hell in all day.
But the Phillies just fired Ed Wade. And that fills my heart with an incomprehensible joy.
Ryan Howard is going to hit 75 grand slams next year. You heard it here first. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 5th, 2005|10:02 pm] |
Despite the fact that my buddy Nate and I have, respectively, a physics exam and a six page paper due tomorrow, we went to roughly eight bars before we found one that would put on the Flyers game for us. So the blatant disregard for schoolwork and the degree to which I searched had me feeling pretty hardcore in my Flyers fandom.
That is until this guy walked in wearing a Joni Pitkanen jersey. He pulled a chair away from the bar, plopped it right under the television, and then walked back to the bartender and told him he wanted two shots every time the Flyers scored a goal.
Honestly, I was a little ashamed to even be in the presence of such a hardass. He's my new hero. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 5th, 2005|04:37 am] |
Girls are retarded.
No matter how old you get, that never gets less true.
For now, though, I'm quietly resigned to joy.
P.S. Val, of course I want to see you and Meghan when she comes up. What kind of silly question is that? |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 24th, 2005|02:37 am] |
I did a sketch tonight about bubble tea that gives you an abortion. It was called Chai-Die.
So just in case you had any lingering respect for me, you can let it go now.
Also, there's a new Whaler. His name is Danny. If you saw him, you'd fall in love with him, too. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 22nd, 2005|05:06 am] |
It's five o'clock in the morning. I have to be up for class in three hours. But I just finished my first entertaining piece of writing since I've been at Columbia, and on the way to the library to print it, I took the stairs three at a time.
I'd forgotten how good this feels. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 20th, 2005|02:28 am] |
I'm sitting by myself on a Manhattan rooftop in the middle of the
night, frittering away my time on a fifteen-hundred word paper that's
only two-thirds done. The city is deathly silent, but the skyline is
there, stretching before me, the brilliant lights and the radiant moon
and the barely visible stars, and the immensity of it all is weighing
in on me, I guess, because I just stop and sit there and think to
myself, I am so fucking happy.
I wish you all nothing but the same. Honestly.
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 17th, 2005|07:48 pm] |
Here's the thing:
Regardless of what happens from here to the rest of my life, no matter what mistakes or misfortunes may come my way, "Calgary Whalers" appeared on a UCB set list last night, and that is the coolest fucking thing I have ever seen.
Also, I found a barbecue place. So it's been a good couple of hours. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 12th, 2005|02:24 pm] |
Look, I'm only going to say this once, but I'm going to be thinking it every Monday:
Film class is the coolest shit.
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| "Bitches ain't shit but hos and tricks..." |
[Sep. 6th, 2005|08:52 pm] |
Look, I know I've been bragging a lot, but I just spent the past hour twenty feet away from Ben Folds.
So what I'm basically saying is, suck it. |
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hansgruber's journal
